discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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