google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
