walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
