Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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