im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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