I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
