Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
