im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
