She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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