tell your sister to shave her snatch
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
