i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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