So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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