My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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