I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
