she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
