I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
