You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
