the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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