Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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