he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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