I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
