I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
