that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
