quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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