dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
