i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
