She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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