I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
