you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
