we're blogging at a bar
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
