I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
