I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
