My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
