ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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