I just cut my nipple shaving
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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