This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
