there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
