I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
