very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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