Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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