I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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