i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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