Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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