Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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