fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
