Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this just has baby written all over it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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