he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
