I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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