Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
