i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
