I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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