I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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