I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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